Medical treatment for infertility has created many miracles. Physicians are trained to manipulate hormones and join and implant patients’ seeds. Less understood is the power the patient has to fertilize his or her soil. Hypnotic treatment for infertility can be a powerful part of the miracle because it occurs in the place where mind and [...]
Any decision to use a third party to create your family demands serious soul-searching. Not only have I been supporting couples in this quest for 35 years, but ironically, my own daughter was faced with the decision to use ovum donation due to the chemotherapy and radiation that she needed as a 17 year-old to [...]
PCOS does not preclude pregnancy. It does demands more patience for the extra time it may take to conceive. Therein resides a great deal of the problem, and at the same time, hints at the solution. How could this be? Patience is a component of resilience. And resilience, the ability to bounce back after an [...]
Did anyone see the Op Ed piece in the NY Times, Selling the Fantasy of Fertility? While infertility is making its way into public consciousness, this article represented a skewed opinion of the good work that fertility research and clinics are providing. You might be interested in reading the article. Then check out my response: [...]
Infertility involuntarily changes your life. You’re not in the driver’s seat and the roller coaster climbs slowly and plummets quickly. With all this mental and physical motion and commotion, every day can seem like a year when your quest for a baby is thwarted. If you relate to this description, take note: You may not [...]
Let’s get one thing straight right away: It is normal to feel intimidated in any doctor’s office and it is normal for your IQ to drop to zero when creating the next generation becomes an ordeal. That being said, how do you maximize the opportunity to minimize your stress with good self-advocacy? How can you [...]
If you are struggling with infertility you are well aware that anxiety goes with the territory. On Sunday, March 4, 2012, The New York Times, Sunday Review section, featured an editorial piece on anxiety by Patricia Pearson that got me thinking. Certain of us are prone to wariness or fearfulness. About this underlying rumble, the [...]
Purchase Helen's book, On Fertile Ground: Healing Infertility. The following excerpt from my book speaks directly to those in an infertility struggle, but keep in mind that the tenets apply no matter what adversity you might be dealing with. On Fertile Ground: Healing Infertility by Helen Adrienne, LCSW, BCD Chapter 10 Gain from the Pain: [...]
Today’s post is shared with you from the book: Ten Commandments for Couples for Every Aspect of Your Relationship Journey. Seventy experts in relationships provided their 10 commandments for dealing successfully with everything from maintaining connection to dealing with financial and sexual issues. Here is my excerpt: 1. Infertility is demanding. Keep your love for [...]
Perhaps you have decided to remain child-free. But if you are struggling with infertility you are in that category by default. Either way, it’s common for people to make assumptions which can be hurtful. Check out the advice in the article “Ten Things Not To Say to Your Child-Free Friends.” http://wap.yahoo.com/w/ygo-frontpage/lp/story/us/739492/coke.bp?ref_w=frontdoors&.ysid=dekjcUq9_jiTaT73vLkMGg80&.intl=US&.lang=en. You will appreciate the [...]
We are dual process thinkers. We have two interrelated systems running in our heads. One is slow, deliberate and arduous (our conscious reasoning). The other is fast, associative, automatic and supple (our unconscious pattern recognition). … Most of our thinking is below awareness.”
With Hurricane Irene front and center, either because you lived through it, or you were innundated by news about it, I was reminded of the infertility article I wrote way back in 2003. Suddenly, the rain and wind subside for a while until the "back end" of the storm brings its fury to your doorstep once again. For ideas about how to create an eye in the infertility storm and reclaim your sense of yourself, click on the link below this article:
Evidence-based research is both useful and not helpful when it comes to infertility. It is inspirational when you realize that if, as the research has shown, you can rid yourself of migraines with biofeedback by using your mind to control your temperature, it is only a short distance from there to realizing that you may not be helpless when it comes to influencing your fertility. (Of course this would only have merit if there weren’t structural abnormalities.) Feeling helpless will certainly contribute to stress.
Miscarriage is a loss which has no official ceremonial protocol attached to it. Ken had it right because he and his wife created their own ritual when they planted a bulb in their yard, and took the time to honor and metabolize their feelings of loss. The symbolism is obvious and perfect.
This entry is very simple. It is just meant to call your attention to what might be a more panoramic view of stress than you might currently be aware of. Consider my “3 A’s” approach to coping with stress: If you ACCEPT the reality, if you become more self-AWARE, and if you learn ways to ADAPT to the infertility experience, you can shift from feeling vanquished to feeling victorious.
Below is an inspirational quote from Charles R. Swindoll. It is a real challenge to maintain a positive attitude when in an infertility struggle. You certainly have a right to feel like dog poo, but you have a choice not to. Mind/Body coping skills are a sure-fire approach to learning how to respond to the stress of infertility rather than be reactive to it.
Impatience is virtually universal when our deepest longings are thwarted. And longing for a baby generates a particular agony because of the extended period of time that it can take until the baby quest is resolved. The following is a lovely story, synopsized from the book Stories for the Third Ear by Lee Wallace. This little metaphor may serve to settle the pressure that you may be putting on yourself in an attempt to barge through to parenthood.