A common theme among some who are struggling with infertility can be summed up with a plethora of curse words, most of them starting with F: “Years of Fear of F***ing for fear of pregnancy!”; “Damn, what a F****** A-hole I was to delay having a family!”; “Why didn’t my F****** doctor warn me about [...]
It seems timely, somehow, that I update and reprint an article that I wrote in the aftermath of 9/11, not so much because it was recently the 15th anniversary of the tragedy, but because this kind of display of heartlessness seems to be with us like an undertow. Seaside Park, New Jersey and Chelsea, New [...]
One of the horrors of the fertility challenge is the build-up of tension in the very place where serenity is palliative, namely between the couple. Most couples pull together really well and in the end discover their qualifications to deal with adversity. Yet, the fact that the journey can take a long time to resolve, [...]
At the time of this writing, The Museum of Modern Art in NYC is running an exhibition called Soundings: A Contemporary Score. Artists deconstructed sound and made it visable in a variety of ways. What interested me most were the artistic contributions that made silence audible. In one case, what a dog can hear was [...]
Let’s get one thing straight right away: It is normal to feel intimidated in any doctor’s office and it is normal for your IQ to drop to zero when creating the next generation becomes an ordeal. That being said, how do you maximize the opportunity to minimize your stress with good self-advocacy? How can you [...]
Making your way through an infertility struggle is an ordeal. The emotional component of the infertility journey can be even more of an ordeal. Women are generally freer to feel and express their emotions than men. Father’s Day is a reminder that you are not a parent yet either. Culturally, in a man’s world, emotions [...]
Reframing is about deciding to look at our thoughts from a different perspective. When it comes to infertility, the act of reframing is a skill worth cultivating. Keep reading to find out why. As a rule, thinking negatively is part of the human condition. Because caveman presumed that the twig that snapped was a saber [...]
Would an orchid keep its bloom in a closet without water, fertilizer, or exposure to the light of day? Would a palm tree last very long in Siberia? Could a herd of elephants sustain itself in a concrete jungle? Doesn’t Mother Nature demand that each form of life live according to a certain set of [...]
Even though you are tossed unexpectedly into an unwelcomed set of circumstances, the wisdom of these words provides a valuable perspective to adopt when infertility renders your life unrecognizable.
The need to cope with adversity is unavoidable. Sometimes we have the presence of mind to step back from a problem and find a solution that relieves our stress. Other times the problem may swamp us because it is bigger than the coping mechanisms which are in our repertoire. We all get tossed around in [...]
Most people are aware that there are tears of sadness and tears of joy. Some have thought about other categories of tears that come from terror or pain, anger, frustration, helplessness, jealousy or relief. And with a bit of effort, we could compile a list, perhaps even a long list, of other kinds of tears. [...]